How I overcame overwhelm, and learned other lessons along the way

This was the “norm” for me for far too long- I’d be in a constant state of overwhelm, putting way too much pressure on myself. So my anxiety would work itself into such a lather, that it would cause me to want to hide and avoid everything. And then came the depression. Because I felt so useless. So hopeless and fragile. Day in, day out, sometimes for weeks, like this. Until I’d finally have some kind of hormonal/emotional/chemical uptick, and I’d start to regulate. But not fully. Never fully. Just enough to let me feel like I was treading water, instead of drowning. But inevitably, it would always return back to the drowning phase because I didn’t know how to work through it. And so on, and so on, it would go. I did this for decades.

Note: What I’ve written in this post isn’t a blueprint for beating depression or anxiety, so certainly do not take it as such. I am not a therapist, a trained counselor, or any kind of medical expert in the slightest. This is simply what my experience has been and how I, personally, work everyday to overcome this vicious cycle. Take from it whatever you like.

Fast-forward to a few years ago, when I decided to go back to work. We had financial goals that needed to be reached, and I wanted to be a contributor to that. So I decided to look for a job.

I knew I wanted something that would keep me active. Because, as part of my search for solutions to ending the anxious-depressive cycle, I had joined a gym, and went regularly to get some vigorous exercise. (Wanna know what I mean? Read this for more info- 13 Psychological Benefits of Exercise: On The Brain – Mental Health Daily ). So, as you can imagine, I didn’t want to lose that resource.

I soon found work doing something I’d had some experience in before, and quickly got reminded of how rigorous it could be! But what I hadn’t expected to experience was the mental resistance to it that I felt at the beginning. The psychological push-back my mind was giving me made me feel like I’d made a huge mistake. That I was asking far too much of myself, and it wasn’t going to be worth what I was trying to do in the end. I nearly quit in those first few weeks at least a dozen times. I went home physically exhausted, sore, but also completely emotionally spent. However, I pressed on. And soon, I got into the rhythm, finding it easier over time to accept those difficulties that I was experiencing, and going on with my day. On the plus side, I lost weight, I got stronger, and I felt better. But the best part was, I felt accomplished.

After a few months, I found another physically active job with a better schedule and better pay. So, of course, I jumped on it. And I fit in right away because I was mentally and physically prepared for the rigorousness this time. This job was far more structured and required more mental fortitude than the last job. You had to think on your feet, meet strict deadlines, work both on your own and as a team interchangeably, and you had to hold yourself accountable to a very stern set of rules meant to protect yourself and your work. In short, it tested me in ways that I hadn’t experienced in quite a while. But I learned to adapt, to compartmentalize those feelings that the discomfort brought about, and to focus on the task at hand. Because they didn’t matter, in that environment. What mattered was getting the work done.

I moved through what I needed to do each day methodically and intentionally, and got the job done. I embraced the suck, as they say. Sure, there were good days and bad days. But I worked through them and refused to give in to my anxiety telling me lies about what or how I was doing. And through it, we were able to reach our financial goals. So, I was eventually able to stop working, and come back to where I started- but not as the same person. Thankfully. Because also during this time, I was building up the courage to venture out on my own in business. It was time to take the training wheels off and test out my newly sharpened skills.

Now, I can happily say, I am armed with how to navigate my day in a healthy way. When each day presents itself with its own challenges, I see it as an opportunity for accomplishment. A big step up from seeing every day as something to fear or dread. I listen closely to my intuition and follow what it tells me is most important to accomplish first. I create a list for myself first thing every morning (in a pretty little flowered notebook, with a pen that has a big fake diamond on the end of it because I’m old-school, okay?) I make it colorful, and vibrant, and I put things on there that I know need to get done just for that day. But also? I add things that I want to get done. Fun things. Personal things. Soul-feeding things.

Making this a part of my daily ritual allows me to feel a deep sense of satisfaction. And if I run out of things to do, I add another item or two to my list. But if I don’t want to, then I don’t. Because I make the rules for how my time is spent.

So how can you work to combat overwhelm? By having a set of skills at your disposal, too. Things like compartmentalizing your thoughts and emotions so you can focus on the task at hand, having some flexibility in how you work, and accepting difficulty or challenge as part of the process, not a measurement of failure. Taking time to rest and reflect, allowing satisfaction in yourself when you look at the list you’ve created, and seeing the items crossed off one by one. (By the way, your list isn’t meant to be a mile long. It’s meant to contain only what’s reasonable for that day. You’re not a superhero. You’re human.)

And again, it’s important to listen to your intuition. What do you know you can realistically do that day? Then focus. Take care of what’s most important right now. And then move on to the next thing. And the next. Will you get interrupted? Yes. Can you always come back to what you were doing, even if it got moved to the next day? Definitely. Is this okay? Absolutely!! Will you have moments when you just don’t feel like working on that list? You bet! So give yourself a little break. Enjoy something that is just for you, and then come back to the task with refreshed energy. Because rest is just as important as work!

Lastly, adjust your perception, and realize that nobody lives a perfect life, filled only with joy and sunshine. The reality is, life isn’t meant to all be a walk in the park. We’d get bored if we didn’t experience strife or difficulty. We’d forget what that joyful spark feels like when we get really happy, and instead it would become more of a dulled contentment, at best. Truth is, we need to, as the old saying goes, “take the good with the bad”. We need to understand that life is cyclical. There is a time to work and even to struggle, and there is also a time to rest and enjoy. Life is meant to be lived, and that means choosing, moment by moment, to bravely navigate all of it. This is how you find your Full Life Bliss.

If you’re someone who feels like you are stuck in the constant cycle of stress, anxiousness, and overwhelm, and would like some help putting the system that I described above into place in your own life (plus, a few other key elements that I will share with you, as well) you’re in luck!

Click here to learn more…